Dear Resource
Hello, this week I started a new job so I had a bit less time for music searching, which I wrote about below. But I did have time to do a moderate deep dive into Illegally Blind records in Somerville. Also, I wrote about the dumb world of corporate email lingo.
Illegally Blind (Records?)
I feel like I’ve been dancing around the whole “underreported” music section here for a bit, but Illegally Blind in Somerville, Massachusetts is pretty much as deep as it gets. They’re community oriented, they seem to use the term “Record Label” pretty loosely and operate more as a show-booking service for local bands, they have no major marketing apparatus, all their albums are pay what you can and many of them don’t even have press releases, and the result is a label that does anything it wants on its own terms.
I found out about this label when I was researching for my Sweeping Promises piece—the pair of musicians behind that project were also featured on the label’s first release under the alias Splitting Image. A 10 minute punk EP, Thank You set the tone nicely for the label, which both encapsulates the feeling of gritty, five dollar punk cassettes and the modern sensibility of punks who don’t put too much stock into any particular sound. I suppose that “Punk label that features a lot of different sounds” isn’t really new, but I just think that sometimes you come across labels that are pretty much all power-trio punk albums with cassette quality production. This is not Illegally Blinds’ M.O.
Patty Melt has a full-bodied ballad on their release with the label, Lane seems to know their way around a studio, and even though Blue Ray and Nice Guys falls somewhat into the Lightning Bolt-school of fast distortion, their occasional use of keyboards and creative beat-making again makes for an unpredictable feel to their music.
I have to say that my personal favorite album so far is the self-titled one from Nice Guys. I’m such a sucker for an album that’s just pure chaos and this thing is fast, loud, and so full of life. I think it’s also catchy in a way. The vocals aren’t that melodic but the riffs really are, even the bass parts are super sticky and I find myself running them back over in my head after the songs end. Also the lyrics are awesome, any album that features someone screaming “NEW FORM OF EXHAUSTION” or “COFFEE BREATH” is perfect in my book.
Probably the best single song on Illegally Blind is Patty Melt’s “TVH.” In general, the band’s front-person Carrie’s boisterous presence carries her instrumentalists along with her—I mean this album starts with her bandmates chanting “She’s our Queen.” The way she bends and pulls the tempos makes the whole album feel really theatrical and the climactic high notes on “TVH” just really bring the whole thing home. I do feel like this album is a little too all over the place to some degree (basically the song Carrie doesn’t sing on doesn’t fit the rest of the album at all), but it’s a rambunctious and exciting experience nonetheless.
Then there’s blue ray, which at first sounds like your typical fuzzy punk tape, but later on takes a lot of interesting turns in the studio. “Smack me” features this wild vocal track in the distance to contrast the front-and-center “lead” vocal, then the ironically titled “choir of angels” sees an outro of vocals thrown through some wild effects pedals and finally, the penultimate track “eat the roach” essentially showcases the band’s two members going into combat with one another.
I don’t know where exactly the label stands today, I imagine they’re struggling without the ability to plan and put on shows and the band Nice Guys talked about the effect Allston’s gentrification is having on punk houses in their interview with talkhouse, but they did put out an album this year by the band Lane, which expertly towed the line between mechanical, Protomartyr-like post-punk and atmospheric guitar work. Hopefully there will be more to come as I’ll definitely be keeping them on my radar.
The Most Honest Email I’ve Ever Received
So, this week I started a new job working for [REDACTED]. (It’s not cool or anything (I am not CIA (though I guess CIA also isn’t cool, unless you’re into destabilizing foreign nations)), but I’m not going to say anything about it here for fear of retribution). My favorite thing about this job was probably the process for getting it. For unemployment benefits, I had to “job search” three times a week, which I mostly did via Indeed.com, I did this from April through August. That is a lot of applications. At some point, I came across an administrative position in Providence through the job agency [REDACTED] and was like “that’s fine” and applied.
If I’m being honest, I do not remember doing this particular application, but apparently I did it because some lady from Warwick called me and extremely quickly yelled something like “YOU APPLIED FOR A JOB WITH US DO YOU CONSENT FOR US TO APPLY FOR THE POSITION” and I was like “..sure” and she was like “YOU WILL RECEIVE AN EMAIL YOU MUST CONSENT FOR US TO APPLY YOU FOR THE POSITION.”
This was obviously a completely unhinged experience. Like, what do you mean “I have to consent to apply for the job.” I already applied for it. And like, can you explain a little bit more for me. What are the hours? Where is it? How much does it pay? Also, who are you? I feel like I answered the phone and this lady was halfway into a sentence.
The really juicy part was when I got an email for an interview request (almost a MONTH later). This is what it said:
There’s a lot to unpack here but let’s start with “Dear Resource.” Capitalists talk a lot of shit about the whole Comrade thing, but Resource is definitely worse (and more true). I think anyone who is in charge of you should refer to you as Resource. That’s all we are in this dumb world. We try and act like we earn the money that we actually generate, but come on. Our bosses buy the resources we generate and our wage is just some price that we agree on (“agree” is also a stretch here, come on). I really want my boss to walk in one day and be like “hello Resource do you have that spreadsheet I asked for.” It would feel honest to the robotic experience of making a pivot table.
The other cool thing about this email is the capital A in Agency. That makes it feel really official and mysterious, like I’m working for some underground slush fund or something. I think the fact that it’s not “The Agency” but “Agency” is important too, it’s very dramatic, there’s a lot of panache. When I read this email out loud I like to put a pause in. “We received a request from the… Agency.” This sentence is winking at me I swear.
This also kind of works into my love of non-plural sports teams. Maybe that’s what the Washington Football Team should change to: “Washington Agency.” Then, all the players would be agents. I think this works particularly well for this team because who is even on it? I can’t think of one name (other than Alex Smith who shattered his entire leg (he’s like 38 his career is over, come on now) and Adrian Peterson who got released last week) and I watch a good amount of football coverage. I could probably name at least one player on every other team in the league (I did this exercise at the bottom, swear I didn’t cheat.) but Washington is completely anonymous to me.
I think the “interview type” section of the email will also be pretty funny in retrospect. It’s COVID so I know they mean Face to Face as opposed to video-chat, but it just makes me picture some sort of bizarro job interview confessional where I have to tell the interviewer through a gate: “forgive me father, for I have great communication skills.”
Then there’s the nail in the coffin. “Best Regards, Human Resource Department.” Don’t people usually say “Human Resources,” as in “we are the people who provide you with resources if something is wrong.” Again, this email reinforces the notion of a person who is themselves a resource, a “human resource,” if you will.
When I showed this e-mail to my roommates, they were concerned that it was a human trafficking operation or some other scam and obviously they were wrong as this is my current employer (suck it). I luckily understand that this is how things go when you rub your brain against the dumb-dumb cheese grater of office culture all day. Your command of the English language is bound to fall apart when your desk-mate asks you 19 times a day what your weekend plans are. Maybe unsubscribe from my newsletter cause I’m in it now.
The Music We Listen to When We Have Somewhere to Go
It's obvious that the worst thing that’s happened this year is people describing any art as “exactly what you need right now” in reference to Quarantine or whatever else is Going On. But without commutes or parties to pregame for, our experiences with music do fundamentally change. We listen in our rooms, we listen in headphones, we sometimes blast Nine Inch Nails and bother our neighbors.
I gotta say for everything that sucks about commuting, I've missed the music listening that usually accompanies a routine. It's not really ideal for listening to music you don't already know, but the day-to-day lived experience with an album is often the dividing line between music that you find interesting and music that's a part of who you are.
Some of my favorite albums I associate with specific travel experiences. Good Kid Maad City is biking through Montreal's Autumn at two in the morning (Frank Ocean's Blonde is the Montreal summer version), Majical Cloudz is walking through a snow-storm. The first four songs on Snail Mail's debut span exactly enough time to get from the Providence Place Mall kiosk I used to work at to the front door of my current apartment.
If you look through my top ten albums of the year last year (the year when I had probably the worst commute and job of my entire life) each of them had a specific place in my day. Control Top's album Covert Contracts, Megan Thee Stallion's Fever, and PUP's Morbid Stuff made me feel alive for half an hour before work made me feel dead for 8.5 hours. Vampire Weekend's rambunctious double album could span a whole train ride and Mannequin Pussy's Patience was a great way to experience every feeling in the first 20 minutes after work every night.
Probably my worst call in terms of the selections on this list is probably the exclusion of Clairo's Immunity. God that album owns. It’s so sad but so gentle about it that it ends up being really life affirming. Also, it’s so gen-z that I feel like anyone older than me shouldn’t be allowed to listen to it. Many sad night-time rides home were complemented by it.
As far as this year's concerned, I've had the great opportunity to really use my stereo and listen to records and CDs that I don't always get around to and I mostly think my top ten albums of the year will be unaffected (Phoebe Bridgers’ Punisher is equally viable in the home and the car), but I think some albums have suffered a bit. The glaring one is Dogleg’s Melee, which came out three days before I lost my job. I don’t think I really know what these dudes are talking about other than “I AM SAD” and maybe “I AM UNLOVEABLE” but damn this album absolutely shreds. It’s the perfect way to will yourself back to feeling alive after a long day at the office.
In my first week back, I’ve re-experienced a little bit of this kind of listening. I think I’ve settled on “Kawasaki Backflip” being my walk-out-of-the-office music for the rest of the year. Charli XCX’s How I’m Feeling Now is a good lunch album, it’s extremely gay and gives me a nice pop of escape from straight-edged office life in the middle of the day. Mornings I’m not completely decided on yet but I think the new Kelly Lee Owens album is a good option for that (her first album also was a big travel-album for me in 2017). I also reinvigorated my Friday classics this week and did the rundown of Tusk, Ziggy Stardust, and Darkness on the Edge of Town—all absolutely phenomenal in transit.
It’s not all bad though. This newsletter is basically happening because I’ve been home so much and my room lends itself to a lot more perusing of the internet to find new bands and reading more about music. Also, Okkyung Lee’s album Yeo-Nuen, which I already discussed here probably sits at number three in my 2020 power rankings and I don’t think I would’ve gotten into it at all if I didn’t spend so much time at home. My new commute is luckily much shorter than my old one so I think the future looks like a nice balance; I’ll still be able to have time to explore stuff in my room and I’ll have the ability to let stuff sink in on my way into the office. To that I say, hell yeah.
-Donovan Burtan
P.S.
Football players off the top:
AFC
New England Patriots: Cam (Damn) Newton
New York Jets: Le’Veon Bell
Miami Dolphins: Ryan Fitzpatrick
Buffalo Bills: Josh Allen
Baltimore Ravens: Lam…...ark Ingram the Third
Cleveland Browns: Odell Beckham Jr.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Ben Rothlesberger (Mason Rudolph in 3 weeks when Big Ben’s career inevitably ends for good)
Cincinnati Bengals: Joe Burrow (poor guy)
Denver Broncos: Von Miller (injured for the whole season so Drew Lock too)
Kansas City Chiefs: too easy (Clyde Edwards-Helair DM me challenge)
Las Vegas Raiders: David Carr (I think)
Los Angeles Chargers: go back to San Diego you hacks (Tyrod Taylor)
Houston Texans: Dak Prescott (just kidding it’s Dashaun Watson)
Jacksonville Jaguars: ok fair point I have no clue (they just got rid of Leonard Fournette though, gimme a break)
Indianapolis Colts: Philip “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUDE WHY” Rivers
Tenesse Titans: Derrek Henry (absolute beast)
NFC
Dallas Cowboys: Ezeikiell Elliot (spelling is homophobic)
Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz (not even the best Carson-named QB in NFL history when will Dan Orlovsky lose his damn job)
New York Giants: Lol isn't Joe Flacco their back up now
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tom (bro, stop) Gronkowski
New Orleans Saints: Drew Brees
Carolina Panthers: the Jaguars of the NFC! I have no idea who is on this team
Atlanta Falcons: Julio Jones
Chicago Bears: probably some washed up former Broncos QB (jk it’s Mitchell Trudinsky)
49ers: George Kittle
Seattle Seahawks: Russell Wilson
Arizona Cardinals: Kyler Allen (idk maybe that’s the wrong last name)
Los Angeles Rams: Jared Goff
Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers
Minnesota Vikings: Kirk “If I Die I die” Cousins
Detroit Lions: apparently Adrian Peterson (and Matthew Stafford) it’s like a weird aughts throw-back, put on some White Stripes in the locker room eh?
Post-mortem:
The dumb, embarassing thing I did here was forget Christian McCaffrey of the Panthers, who’s universally acclaimed for his fantasy stats. Maybe I’ll start a fantasy league next year, I’ve never done it for Football, could be fun. Other than that there’s a couple mistakes.
Kyler Allen is actually the combination of Kyler Murray (QB of the Arizona Cardinals) and Kyle Allen, the quarterback of the Washington Football Team. So, I guess I do know an Agent.
Joe Flacco is actually the Jets back-up. Missed out on Saquon Barkley, who I’m assuming is the entire Giants game plan this season.
The Carr on the Raiders is David’s younger brother Derek.
But overall the point stands pretty well. Who are these people!
laughed out loud when i got to the email part. clearly the best part is they only give you two interview slots. what if neither is convenient?!